"I was already gone"

The above quote comes from "Educated" by Tara Westover, The full sentence is, "It was as if we were living in the future and I was already gone." I started leaving for parts unknown as a toddler. I have vivid memories of my parents retelling the story of the first time they they took me out and let me wander freely. I was first born and they had more time with me as a young couple than was afforded my siblings. I was probably 18 to 20 months old, my mother pregnant with my sister, and they took a quilt, themselves and me into the middle of the ball field next door. It had the road on one side, the high school on the right, our apartment complex on the left and a strand of pines at the back. I have no memory of it, but I can imagine my father stretched out on the quilt, legs crossed propped up on one elbow, smoking his Salem menthol and watching, I can see my heavily pregnant Mother trying to mange to sit comfortably and keep an eye on a toddler. I have been told my father was the one that suggested they let me just play however I wanted, and watch. According to my mother's memory of the event, I walked and then ran full speed away from them towards the woods. According to my father's telling, I toddled around wobbly on toddler legs until I got far enough out of their reach and start running full out-on tip toes, as toddlers do. They totally agreed on the next part. Soon the realization that I would not stop at the woods had my mother telling my father if he did not move fast I would be out of sight shortly. They both agreed he had to full out run to stop me and bring me back to the quilt pallet on the grass. Years later, in retelling the story both would comment that they realized seperately that I never looked back for approval nor safety. My mother commented one time that that was when she realized I would grow up and leave. My father would always add, "That is when I knew she was already gone."